INTIMACY IS A CLOWN

Walking down a crowded street does demand some specific response from us. Either one employs a lot of skill and energy to avoid any form of contact with others or one butterfly oneself from one delightful brief interaction to the next.

Spending time with someone also takes energy and skill. The subject in this case is far removed from anything fleeting or passing. The subject heading is unmistakably bold, loud and clear; it is about intimacy.

When people spend time together, whether they are friends or lovers, intimacy issues will have to be addressed either consciously or subconsciously. There is a notion, rightly or wrongly, that we have evolved and that we are intuitively able to handle or structure intimacy issues.

The first default interpretation about intimacy between people is that it has a place. It has a very specific place. Intimacy should, most people believe, take its place and it should not try to outgrow or escape its assigned place. There is a second default possible and it has to do with time, i.e. that the duration of the intimacy should have a termination point. It is almost as if a built in expiry moment exists.

There are, not surprisingly, some aspects to intimacy that havenít yet completely surrendered themselves to structured human behaviour. Many times, perhaps even most of the time, intimacy has the bad habit of putting on a clown suit and reappears as a four letter word. This word, as you might have guessed already, is called love!

Not too many people know but we as humans actually have some options as to how to deal with love. The most common choice is to fall in love. It is a wonderful world of fantasies and sexual flames. Falling in love is indeed a clown as it does disappear as quickly as it appeared. Soon the act is over, the fantasies terminally wounded and the sexuality is buried in ashes.

The other option is to rise in love. Not that everyone has ever heard of it but still it doesnít mean that it doesnít exist. Rising in love is everything that falling in love isnít. Surely it is well defined, alive and making a grand entrance into our modern society. Rising in love is here to stay, to conquer as many intimacy issues as possible and to allow people to have life changing experiences.

The fallen in love state of being can, astonishingly last quite a long time. To last up to two years is not far-fetched at all. It has a simple formula and the essence is another four letter word, sure you will guess once again, the word is baby. Two people meet, they move in together, they have a baby and halleluiah the human race has been perpetuated.

This is also the beginning of the end for most. Intimacy did indeed escape through the back door and canít be found anywhere. The poor souls seek counselling, they seek alternative therapies and some even pour their heart into the spiritual fires readily available on every street corner. Some wise legislators in Mexico now proposed laws that even allow you to marry for a predetermined period, yes, for two years only.

The cleverest stance concocted by people to outsmart this two year trap is just to start all over again. Either you have another child with the same partner or you find another partner to have a two year baby making relationship with. The trap is that it canít be repeated for ever, it does run out of steam and or money sooner or later.

Rising in love doesnít reduce the partners to roles of semen donors and baby hatchers. It caters for whole individuals to celebrate their being together and to indulge in intimacy more often than not. The rising in love celebration has a guaranteed benefit of handing two people opportunities to continuously share life changing experiences.

The people under the rising in love spell know when to switch off the TV, when to book a weekend away and they know how to be intimate with each other. Most of the required skills they have acquired by themselves, they did it by just allowing their beings to flourish on what is and to live in the knowing that they are greater than the chattering of their limited minds.

Both falling in love and rising in love have their own set of difficulties regarding sexuality. These issues are on the opposite ends of the scales and truly poles apart. Falling in love usually deals with making babies, encouraging men to employ premature ejaculation to do the task at hand and no need for men to be aware of predetermined baby making. For this fallen man to embrace his rightful place as multi-orgasmic being, surely comes close to a miracle. Strangely enough, the rising in love people regularly comment on the fact that miracles do happen for them.

The falling in love woman usually grapples with issues of being frigid, trying to have the ultimate big-O orgasm and above all, trying to make the man happy. For her the discovery that she is an orgasm instead of having orgasms; it is something too good to be true. The fact that she doesnít need to please a man and the fact that she has free access to being permanently orgasmic; surely it is understandable when women declare this as pure science fiction and not scientifically proven.

When each partner lives his or her own fulfilled life, when each of them knows their absolutely unique place on the face of this earth, when these two people rise in love; only then intimacy can down its clown outfit and hand them opportunities to be transformed into amazing human beings. Intimacy has the power to heal all wounds from the past, to rid all illusions of the future and to allow people to celebrate the moment.

Next time you meet someone, when you feel the intimacy issue shouts out to be allowed to unfold; this is the moment to ask yourself if you are willing to express your choice about the road you want to take or if you want to default to unconscious baby making style of sexuality as an expression of intimacy.

To just fall into the falling in love, baby making role is easy and to stay in it is impossible. To walk the rising in love road is strenuous in the beginning but it keeps delivering new opportunities to be filled with joy and creativity.

It isnít possible to avoid awareness of others when walking down the street. It is equally impossible not to have encounters with people who belong in the rising in love category. The amazing thing is that the moment you arrive in the rising in love group, from that moment on you notice other risers. Actually they have been there all along but you had no mind labelling category to recognise them.

It is quite relevant to ask about the behaviour and characteristics of people who are accustomed to rising in love. These people are everyday normal citizens of countries, they go about their daily tasks to feed the children and to pay the mortgage. There are a few other characteristics that can be derived from their common behaviour. These risers are without exception involved in some or other aspect of daily life that can be described as exceptional or extraordinary.

Many times the life styles of risers are described as if they make a living out of their hobbies, as if they do what they love to do, as if they do normal things but with a slight twist on the desired outcome which gives it an exotic flavour. The tremendous clarity risers demonstrate in going about their daily tasks does amaze others. The same is true for the lack of questions about life in general. Questioning is reserved as a tool to find open doors and more often to come up with solutions for a seemingly impossible task to explain to others the quality of their being and not their doing.

I am alive. I am awake. I live my life from within. I know my absolutely unique place in this world. I have joy in myself. I take steps daily to allow my unique role on this planet to unfold. I invite you as a fellow riser to take hands with me and other risers and to celebrate our aliveness as often as possible.

Several people have indicated that they are interested to enter some kind of informal association. Let me know how you see a possible road together, if at all.

Martin